Due to the current climate of political correctness now pervading America:


Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians
will no longer be referred to as
'HILLBILLIES'

You must now refer to them as
'APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS'



And furthermore,

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT 'WOMEN' AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
'BREASTED AMERICAN'


2. She is not 'EASY' - She is
'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a
'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a
'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes
'VERBALLY REPETITIVE'

6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a
'LOW COST PROVIDER'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a
'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is
'OVERLY CAUCASIAN'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He
'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in
'FOLLICLE REGRESSION'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' showing when he stoops or bends over - It's
'TROUSER CLEAVAGE'

I admit to having a good chuckle at the 'overly Caucasian' line