Hey all, it's been fun trying to get my life back on track after the few weeks worth of debacles I posted about earlier... and yeah, even a few more things happened but I won't bore you with the details, it's just been par for course here lately. Finally starting to work my way through the quagmire... it hasn't been easy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I haven't hardly traded at all while getting the house back in order, which has actually given me some time to sit back and reflect on my (lack of) progress since going live.
Going to live from SIM has been much more of a challenge than anticipated; it has nothing to do with the market and everything to do with me. I've seen some large drawdowns, worked my way back out of them, only to repeat the cycle a few times. Currently, I'm almost exactly break even after three(?) months in the game... which I suppose, unto itself, is not a bad thing, covering my costs, but not the direction I had hoped to be going by this point.
A couple of things really stand out. First and foremost would have to be my lack of commitment to the process. Those of you who have followed this thread know that I have a propensity for shooting from the hip and doing what I want, when I want. That said, when I was doing really well in SIM, I had committed to going to bed at a reasonable hour, getting up early, going through a routine and just basically doing the same thing, day-in and day-out, every single trading day, saving my partying for the weekend. Literally, the first time in nearly 20 years I had actually stuck to a set schedule for any serious amount of time.
Since going live, all of that has gone out the window. I've fallen off the horse... been staying up late, haven't been working out/doing yoga/meditating, partying during the week, not maintaining a schedule... you get the picture. No doubt it has affected my performance and decision-making abilities, whereas being in the routine encouraged me to stay focused and be more precise. No discipline apparently means mediocre market performance for me.
Secondly, and likely also related to the above, I haven't been taking my setups properly, instead trying to utilize more "advanced" techniques that I can comprehend yet apparently haven't fully assimilated. I also still occasionally fire off the random monkey brain trade, coming from way out in left field... I'm doing much better at curbing this behaviour, but it apparently is still part of my basic primate DNA :sarcastic: Grab dat 'naner!
On the flip side, I am pleased to report that some progress has been made. I believe trading the larger 7E contract live on a smaller account has challenged me in a way that M6E never could with it's inconsequential tick size, and it has resulted in a notable improvement in mental balance whilst in a trade. Starting out, I was very risk averse and every tick movement against my position had me wired. Now, it's more like... whatever. Win or lose, my attitude is notably more stable in that it just doesn't bother me.
OK, all that said, here's the plan going forward... with the back half of this year now in full swing, and now that life is finally falling back into some semblance of order, I'm recommitting myself to the original program, which worked. Get back on track with my sleep schedule, fall into some natural rhythm with the market, and refocus on the bread and butter trades that were a huge factor in my early success.
Turns out concentrating on process applies not only to trading, but life in general. I'd say wish me luck, but I don't believe luck has much of anything to do with it... only focus, dedication, discipline, responsibility and motivation will make me a winner at this game.