Been there. In away this shocking experience will change you in good way. Start again and build it from skratch. You do have the skill

I blew up 2 accounts before things began to click. I notice you are trading NQ , you may want to try a mkt that isn't quite so fast, especially as we speak . In my case as time went on and I was picking up more information , I realized I really wasn't ready to go up against other traders who knew so much more than I did . I took some time to readjust my thinking and spent time on a practice account again .