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Even comning into this up market, and first desire was to short. Crazy from some perspectives. I think that is part of what keeps me from the leap of faith. There is nothing to hold onto other than, faith, gut. While I love it, something about it feels scary to bet my entire future on. I am hoping that will change though, and working on it. It is not about trading, it is deeper.
Can you help answer these questions from other members on NexusFi?
In a youtube video of a lecture by Jack Schwager, he said something like 'loyalty is good in life; in trading, it's terrible' ... meaning of course, be willing to see different angles and perspectives. I can do this on the same day, but reversing from long to short and vice versa is a feat that I have only been able to do a few times ever. It's just so contrary to human nature to switch sides so quickly.
Rough week. That max down hurt me. I should not have traded, knowing my head was fucked up with the heart attack, 4 hours sleep many nights, just a bad attitude, and then tried to pick a top. I should know better, I do know better, but that means nothing sometimes.
Traded 43% profitable. Net 19 ticks on the week. Amazing I finished up at all, really didn't after costs. That one max down day made all the difference in net, but my numbers were bad regardless. I think I am upset with myself for pushing trading off, driving myself too hard to do everything well, exhausted from different time zones...
I don't think I have ever hit "reverse". Seems reckless for some reason. The thought was in my head from "Trading in the Zone', he uses the word several times.
I know, I live it. I handle it well, no headaches, no nausea, calm in chaos. I was drininking with a close friend years ago, and said something like, "I am the kind of guy you would want to be in a disaster with". lol! Cocky maybe, but what it meant was ,I just kind of let things be what they are, but then manage appropriately. Even if I know it sucks the whole time.
But I know stress goes somewhere inside me. I am not impervious, just resilient.
That is where you are braver that I am today. It was weird, I just posted this week that I wish I would get a push, but doubt I would like whatever it was. Then I listened to your webinar and heard you had a push, and did not necessarily like it.
There is one guy I have met here who seems to have been born into it. Great way to start, from what little I know. Family support, belief support, mentor/friend environment, young age, fits his personality. The rest of us seem to have some undoing to do.
LOL, it is interesting you say that. Here is an email I just received:
I think in my old day job I would appear to manage the stress well. I never really thought of myself is stressed. But the body clearly knew better, it was trying to tell me with the headaches, and I never really appreciated that or realized as crystal clear as once they stopped almost immediately after quitting the job. You would think quitting would be a cause of stress, but in fact, it was an enormous relief!
In trading performance numbers, this was possibly the worst week I have had in a year. Low 40% wins (NT closed), hit max down by taking a trade I knew I shouldn't. And yet I finished slightly up. Winners larger than losers was the only thing that could save me this week.
I really believe I am disappointed in myself for keeping on taking new work. I am looking at San Antonio, New Jersey, another near Boston, one in New York... I started back into business and have built it to something solid, and when I went in I had nearly the same drive I did at age 25, but now, just not loving it. Looking at what I fought to achieve and wanting to walk away in it's prime. My big losing day came in the middle of a supervisor's hospital stay, adding a feeling of having failed him, and questioning why I was possibly walking the same path. I have read about things like that causing poor trading, but, that wouldn't affect me... We probably all think that at times. " I am fine ".
I am enjoying Colorado, particularly how the trading hours work here. I was out of the house by 10:30am. I like the people, the scenery, the lack of humidity. Having a hard time with the oxygen, not sleeping well, always out of breath.