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The structure within which we define our actions is not (imo) the same
as the space within which our actions are defined.
The structure is mostly about labels.
Labels are things we put on things.
The space within which our actions are defined is our awareness.
Our awareness (and lack of it) defines our actions,
rather than the labels.
Just as the structure exists within the space,
there is space (us) within the structure.
Our level of awareness is a measure of our awareness of the present moment.
That awareness determines our relationship to the information we perceive in real time. The Now.
Upon which we chose to be the action we take.
The structure and space become one.
For all the "reasons" we have for ourselves to take a trade,
it is often good to state the reasons for which we did not take a trade.
ie:
was/is not revenge,
was/is not greed,
was/is not anger,
was/is not in terms of what the ego wanted or when and where it wanted it..
Absent these (and what ever other reasons) a trader is most likely to be present to what is actually relevant.
All we require and indeed invoke by doing so, is to be aware of what is.
Which may imply the absence of time.
What is happening,
happens neither in the past or future.
" I will follow my rules, I will take my stops, I will be disciplined and i will work with the market....NOT AGAINST IT! Professional mind control is the key"
I really enjoyed your "soul searching commentary." Let me just tell you this. I just wrote a post on another board with this headline: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE LOVE FOR TRADING IS GONE? Now because I have been a profitable buy and hold type position trader managing my moms retirement acct for years, I thought becoming a daytrader, I would have a huge edge over "newbies" because I still used 10-20% technical analysis, just only on a daily chart. But I was wrong. When I let my profits run, and brought my stop up to break even, thats where 70% of the time I wound up. If I took a profit and got back in later on a dip, there went the whole days profit. Now Im talking individual stocks here. Did that about 2-3 years and then tried futures following a guy who showed me backtested results in Gold and also the Dow futures of over 200-300% last 2 years running. So I open a futures account and in 6 weeks, there went my future. Am now involved with Forex now because I cant stand getting up early anymore as I love staying up till the sun come sup. Whats better than Forex,right? LOSING at forex!!!! Been paper trading with great patience for over a year now and going thru my savings faster then a drunk in a brothel.So Im worn out after 15 years of investing and trading, but theres nothing at age 53 left for me to do. I hate my old careers. So my advice to you is..........do something, you sound like a guy who cant be past early 30,s, so just dont wind up in your 40's being in my position. Your world will get very,very small in ways you cant imagine.
I must say, I cant stop trading, and yet I cant go too much longer without financial genocide. So I better make up my mind fast. Commit or acquit! Ive also come to believe ,bing in a prop firm, listening to thousands of guys on boards like mikes and on and on that.....day trading has cycles. To be a really profitable day trader ypou need big swings, big ATR, or youll make so little money if you DO win, it wont be worth it. I dont know much about oil, other than its way too much for my stress level, but equities right now and even most Forex, well....something is missing in volatility and opportunity. And like you said earlier....we all want something we can control. We cant control market swings. I make another bet to all on this board....... that 75% of the guys who traded in the Market Wizards book could not make it today! I am definitely for myself givng up small time frames and going back into swing trading with like 30-60m bars for Forex. Stocks and futures.....still open. Good luck to you Gary. Lets all keep in touch on this thread. I welcome yours or anyone elses advice for myself as well. And yeah, I took an 18 month break. 6 months not even paper trading. And now 1 year paper trading. Adios............
If talent and money were no obstacle, what would you do as a profession given just one choice? Are you the do one thing forever until you are a pro type of guy. Or do you want a life that will let you explore "many" of your different interests and talents? You werent that clear to me on that answer in your last post or two. Maybe that holds the answer for you. Truthfully, I love trading, but for me I could never love it like when I traded with a very small group of people in an office. So trading taught me I'm much more a social person than an event person. If I had a girlfriend and maybe 2 or 3 buddies who liked trading along with their wives......Oh Jeez! Id never go home to sleep. But sadly trading is NOTHING like that! And I suspect that so many traders write books because they need to reach out and touch someone who actually gives a damn about what they do. Its often a lonely profession.
What depresses me, is my recent seetback has nothing to do with my skills on a chart. They have to do with my psychological skills. It would be easier on me if it were just a matter of something outside myself.
I understand the feeling of "can't stop trading". Everyone has some hobby, some interest that engages us, and trading presents one that has such depth of mental stimulus and such promise of rewards. And having spent so many thousands of hours doing it... @Big Mike recommened I take time away from the charts, and my reply was, "and do what?" I have filled my time, occupied my mind, for so long I do not know what else to do.
So for the past few weeks, I go through the motions, I sit here as the market is open, I take a trade, but the passion is not there. I had built an account fairly well, over a long period of time, and then in one afternoon made a major dent, not by wrong indicators or reading a chart wrong, but by being in the wrong state of mind. And had nothing, abosolutely nothing I can pinpoint, that was any different about that day than any other. Like a ticking time bomb was inside me, silently ticking at that.
I have gone through many stories of traders who turned out very succesful, who went through something similar. There are many of them. Perhaps all of them in one way or another. It offered some comfort for an hour or so, but then there was just me again, and my realization that the reason I want to trade and whatever caused me to lose control one day, may be all tied up in one motivation. I am not decided on that theory yet, but if it proves true, that would be very complicated to unwind, if it is possible at all.
Is it possible to learn to "succeed", and then still fail? It may be. That is the question I am working through today.
Thanks for your input. So few traders will be so open to discuss their failures. It is tough to do. But we grow from it.
As I sat with that thought, I put it in other words for myself. I said out loud, while pointing to the screens in front of me, "I have everything I need there". The I put my hands on my head, "I have everything I need in here", and then my hands went to my chest, my stomach, kind of moving around in that area, "but not here".
That is where it is. We want the "holy grail" to be some object outside of ourselves.
But are we not that vessel? That if filled, would give us the missing piece?