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She holds up well, especially considering she has been with me for 23 years. You would think some of that wear and tear would start to show. Just turned 46.
"Gary, I keep telling 'em that it's a jungle out there; that time and space isn't a place for "scaredies"; that toes are stubbed, hearts are broken, and dreams can seem to be shattered into a million pieces. I tell 'em that the illusions are so captivating, they won't even remember who they really are. And that the emotions can be so painful, at times they might fleetingly wish they had never been born.
But it's like, that just makes them want to go even more.
The stretching worked. As far as I can tell today. I think I posted about eh slow motion in the grocery store. I have seen something like I have never before.
March is here. I trailed into it further than I planned. Inertia is a bitch. but today I was the lion in the grass. Just as I do my forex trades. Very specific, to the degree of having surgical precision. That is the biggest difference. The reason being, I know nothing in forex, I have no choice. I have nothing else to base an opinion on, other then, where, and when. Thought in that decision has dissolved, and in part arrived at due to the simultaneous stretching into the year, meanwhile sharpening my edge by taking the name off the chart. Taking any thought off the motion.
I put in my week, trading, just as anyone does, at anything. It is not "less real",
it is only looked at it that way, and because of that, it becomes so. But work you way outside that, and it is no different than wanting to be the best at anything... you are, or you are not,
but you go until you are.
How does THAT work? Well, you have to "ration".
Put yourself into the mind of an olympic athlete... 3 years before their 1st real competition. To ;learn how to trade, that is where you need to be.
1) It is not about "money".
2) "Risk", is inherent.
You just, GO. And in that, find balance between getting killed and not.
Follow that path, stay alive, you will find that experience means everything.
I sold the exact top and bought the exact bottom in CL Friday, and sat for a few hours waiting for it to get out of "the middle" to be a buyer. Since I rmeoved the price and times from my screen, it does not shw when I entered, but the sell was near the pit open and the buy was around noon.
I dropped the sell trade, changed my mind, no real heat. Just, decided I would wait until later in the day when I could trade with the trend.
The buy then came from 1m VSA and footprint delta divergence, after having hit the area I deemed to be support.
"Size" no longer scares me. I also can now think of it as a tool, not a greed factor.
Stretching accomplished.
It hurt, but I am only down 20% of total capital, protected by "rationing". Meanwhile, I cannot seem to lose in forex. Any pair, any session. As the two come together, it will be a great investment.
I kept thinking about everything I had gone through by trading, while during the same time period starting this new sport of disc golf. And as I tried to get my throw dialed in, it came to me. Throw as hard as you want. It will wind up in the trees, but then step back and go through the steps in slow motion again, throwing softer. Over, and over, and over. I used CL as my hard throw, and forex as my soft. One was conditioning muscle strength, and in trading mental experience, and the other was focused on pure perfection, and nothing in between.
It might be hard for me to explain now, but I believe it will not be very soon.
My head is in a completely new space this year. Possibly the best place I have ever been. I could have dropped thousands in the market, then talk with a friend I have not seen in awhile and they notice very quickly that the old "me" is back. At which point I have been told they were afraid to say anything before, that I seemed like I was in such a bad place psychologically.
I am no longer trying to workout, I am just doing it because I like it. My health is better, my back problems almost gone. I have to be aware, but I have no pain, and can throw a disc further than my chiropractor. (He would argue if he knew I said that)
I am no longer trying to be calm, I just am. All things seem to be in slower motion, my posture is great.
I am no longer concerned about making money. I see it as a requirement, a job, but I know my opportunities never end. Sharpen the edges, and survive.
I feel I know who I am, which may be far out of what a trading journal is for, in theory, but I think it is ultimately what they are all about. Where do I want to trade, and for how much, and when, and what, and , why... And no longer feeling a need to defend it.
I sent a few great trades out to a few friends recently, none of them took it most likely. All of them were incredible winners though. I understand that you have to trade your own stuff, and often do not take full advantage of those trades myself. But what I have seen is that IF I suggest something to someone else, it is a better trade than normal. And from that I have started to key into that feeling of wanting to share it, and decided to only take those myself.
Trading the Euro vs the New Zealand tonight. No reason, other than there is some news that has major impact on the NZD (that I do not understand), and, I did a study on the pairs with the highest volatility. EURNZD is one of them.
Played disc golf with Melissa today for the first time. Fished with Martin last night.
Melissa brought home Florida lobster from Whole Foods. I just said to her, "Please do not be upset if I go to sleep before you have it finished". And she gave me the greenlight to do whatever. "Do you want me to wake you up?", she asked.
I have never watched a full week unfold with the purpose being to, I keep correcting this next word.