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I'd like to talk about the psychology of having/not having support from your wife (and kids) in your trading business.
First, notice I used the word business. Trading is a business! If you run it any other way, it's just gambling.
From students …
It's a good thread about the impact of support (or lack of) from your family and friends. It kinda relates to how trading is often times not widely accepted.
Dont ever put it on a credit app, my wife did in 1973 and that year I made a lot of money...app came back said need more info....I never when back, since then I said Im short term market analysis.....everybody loves that
I have had to deal with this stigma my entire wall street carrier whether its when I was in Venture Capital, to Investment Banking to a Financial Advisor to Trader, Prop Trader to trading for my own account. Its not just trading, day trader etc... its a stigma against fat cats on wall street who are responsible for this recession. So don't take it personal. By the way, my worst critic is my wife and she is in the industry.
Platform: NinjaTrader (It's a love/hate relationship)
Trading: CL, TF, 6E
Posts: 169 since May 2010
Thanks Given: 60
Thanks Received: 314
I like an answer I heard a long time ago. He answered, "I manage a small, private hedge fund". If they pressed for more information, he just told them that's where the "private" part comes in.
Personally, I think that maybe 3 or 4 people outside my family know that I currently trade. Years ago, when I used to mention it, people would immediately want to know what I think about their stocks. What is gold going to do. What do I think about their 401k. When I tell them that I have no idea, they think I'm being a wise acre at best or just plain a**hole at worst. I really don't want to deal with any of that, so I keep it to myself.
"I'm retired" will draw too much curiosity. I like: "I'm an investor". "I'm in sales". "I'm a financial analyst" should sound ominous enough to keep peopel from digging any further. Of course what could be less interesting than answering, "I'm an accountant". Which is sort of true.
I have been learning/trading futures for 2 years now ( since relationship split) but my income is still from 9-5. I have put as much time into my trading as my employment in that time and love every hour I spend on it. The concept of a stigmatised work role isnt new to me. Im a social worker and have become accustomed to the deer in the headlights look over the years when the inevitable question is asked. I guess I am tarred with the layman stereotypes about social workers taking children and generally being dumb do gooders - the conversation usually doesnt last long and although I am proud of what I do ( currently Gambling counselling) and my professional discipline I usually choose to deflect the conversation onto the asker who is usually happy to oblige, just to avoid dealing with further stereotypical questions or judgements.
I find that when I speak about my day and swing trading I get exactly the same kind of responses. There are a few close friends who take an interest and follow my progress but mostly I get the glazed look you have all seen. This is especially so in my professional circles where there is a strong leftist perspective that doesnt lend itself to a deep interest in trading and markets, in fact it is seen with some suspicion and there are moral implications for those that immerse themselves in it. Seems that I am a bit of a paradox to many and thats ok with me.
I love it when someone shows a real interest in trading and I will talk for hours but its pretty rare.
I don't tell anyone what I do anymore, I have grown tired of the negative responses from people who don't understand and only dream of having the courage to do what we do.
I don't see what we do as particularly courageous, especially given what many traders' objective is. I certainly don't see traders as more courageous than most people who start up a business, or certain other jobs like fire fighter.
I am not sure courage is the right word, but you have to admit there aren't many jobs where you often times have to "pay" just to work there. I mean most jobs you get a paycheck, but in trading not only may you get zero, (which could be typical of a commission job) but you may also have to pay out a lot of money out of your own bank account.
On a more serious note, we pay to play because the rewards are potentially so great. People who also sink 50k into starting a business are paying to play too. Don't we also say that people who can't afford to lose the money shouldn't trade.