I just spent the past half hour talking with my wonderful friend Peter. I may not know a more positive person. Everything is possible, everything is beautiful. I let him know his email was a big hit here on futures.io (formerly BMT), that he obtained front page exposure, and he was pleased.

(He has not been to prison, by the way.)

As seems to be my typical routine, somewhere in the conversation it turns to "how is your trading going?", and then I don't know how much time passes, but at some point I realize I need to change topic. Not that it is a bad topic for me, but I could go on for days.

I described this journal, how uncomfortably honest I am in it, considering it is posted to who knows who. I explained that through it I have been able to see things differently, and from that I have grown.

I told Peter I have a vision, and that I attempt to hold that image in my mind with such clarity that it supercedes today's reality. I constantly scan for things that are in the way of that path, I target them, I study them, I learn to change them, or eliminate them, or benefit from them, all in a manner so that ultimately the vision is realized.

The path seems odd sometimes, and having never been down it, what reference do I have? Other than to contemplate, analyze, listen, feel, experiment, learn...

Some of the posts I make here are on the technical edge, some on the philosophical edge, others on the emotional edge, some even way off topic and just for a laugh, or a cry, or to evoke some other emotion that some might think has no place in "trading". Sometimes it may seem a very odd mix.

But while it may only make sense to me, my gut says this is the right path. There are only so many things that can happen on the outside; up or down, above or below "x".

But on the inside there are millions of variables, and not looking there, to me, seems foolish.

I feel like a stalker.

Call me old fashioned; trading needs to be 'put in a box.'

A maniacal brainwashed box of your mind where you are like a Terminator when it comes to the 4 parts of a trading plan.

a) Pre-trade analysis
b) Entry and initial targets and stops {you MUST know beforehand where both are--you 'may' adjust your target, however about 65% of traders need a 'hard' stop they cannot elect to move in order to stay 'trade compliant'}
c) Post-trade cooldown & analysis of your pre-trade plan, trade management/entry & exit of said trade that is now finished
d) Entering the 'void' of the mind and staying there so that you can OBJECTIVELY do the next trade, one of thousands more you will do in your career if you are a daytrader
--------------
Outside of trading stays outside of trading. Let it go. Review only at your trading desk with notes and charts in front of you and clearly de-lineate a 'fixed' amount of time you will review and post-mortem, etc...

Then GO out and do the things you WANT to do; no exceptions. Get a houseboy (my preference), or a live-in maid or hire out people that do 'grunt' work so you don't ever have to again.

This gives freedom and a 4 letter word I live for 'TIME'--oceans of time stretching before me just waiting to be violated by my wanton and misguided 'pre-planned' malevolence.

It is what we get up in the morning for, no?

Your mileage may vary. Just my 2 bits for the night.

peace

hedvig

researcher247 

Call me old fashioned; trading needs to be 'put in a box.' A maniacal brainwashed box of your mind where you are like a Terminator when it comes to the 4 parts of a trading plan. a) Pre-trade analysis b) Entry and initial targets and stops {you MUST know beforehand where both are--you 'may' adjust your target, however about 65% of traders need a 'hard' stop they cannot elect to move in order to stay 'trade compliant'} c) Post-trade cooldown & analysis of your pre-trade plan, trade management/entry & exit of said trade that is now finished d) Entering the 'void' of the mind and staying there so that you can OBJECTIVELY do the next trade, one of thousands more you will do in your career if you are a daytrader

a) done, 7 days a week
b) in a way
c) working on
d) getting there

researcher247 

Outside of trading stays outside of trading. Let it go. Review only at your trading desk with notes and charts in front of you and clearly de-lineate a 'fixed' amount of time you will review and post-mortem, etc...

Our entry to the world of trading is different. For me a part of the process involves a lot of baggage, and I believe the mind is the most important tool in trading, but not in an intellectual way. For me to find my best trading, I need to address some things that may not be relevant to you. And, you have found your comfort zone in who you are and how you trade. You believe in yourself and your method. To me that is what is important. What you do may be perfection, but without the right mindset, it could fail miserably.

researcher247 

Then GO out and do the things you WANT to do; no exceptions. Get a houseboy (my preference), or a live-in maid or hire out people that do 'grunt' work so you don't ever have to again. This gives freedom and a 4 letter word I live for 'TIME'--oceans of time stretching before me just waiting to be violated by my wanton and misguided 'pre-planned' malevolence. It is what we get up in the morning for, no?

Well, that is what I used to think. I had hair to my waist, party stories many would not believe, and then one day decided I wanted to make some money. Set a goal for $1M. No idea how really, borrowed $10k. Year one, lost money. Year 2, +$17k. Year 3, +$39k...Year 7, wrote checks for home on ocean, boat, truck... And had all the time I wanted.

I seriously did nothing but fish, travel, drink, went to restaurants, etc. for about 2 years. Somewhere I still have the photos.

Then one day, no where near financial need by the way, I looked at my scruffy face in the mirror, flip flops, fish-blood-stained T-shirt, and asked, "what am I doing?"

I had lost my drive. And I missed it. I missed the pursuit, of something, anything. Not to have money at that time, just to have passion. I realized I liked working. Or maybe more, liked challenging myself, experiencing accomplishment, having a goal. I am not suggesting that is right, or wrong, or that I will ever even know. I only know how I tick. There were times I questioned it, loved it, hated it, tried to change it...today it just is.

I am thinking differently this year, maybe from another 10 years, less testosterone, experience of loss and how risk actually works, facing the reality of mortality, having lost parents and friends. I see that the time I had held more value than I appreciated, due to my view at that time in my life.

But, because of how I lived so many years, I really don't have that many things I do outside of work. We don't have kids, my wife wants a career, and is also studying yoga like a fiend. I don't know what to do sometimes, other than pursue some goal. As a musician many years ago, it was really the same thing but a different object. I praticed for hours, 7 days a week.

I am working on having something that pulls me outside of goal seeking. futures.io (formerly BMT) is actually a part of it, the social aspect. I went to an indoor go cart track a few weeks ago, going to go tuna fishing in MA soon, Googled waverunners while in Virginia and rented one for a couple hours, going to the gym more, play with my dog a lot (love her). Trying to find something that commands my attention. My latest target is to truly learn to surf.

Here is a twist; you mentioned a maid, well, we have had that, still do. I had a guy I bought a truck and he did all my to-do list stuff for years. But now, a couple weeks ago I bought a lawnmower, and today mowed the lawn for the third time. And I enjoyed it. A couple years ago I set the structural system for a home I was building for my stepfather, by myself with a couple laborers. Before that hired out everything. I directed the crane, balanced on the beams, drank 6-8 bottles of Gatorade a day. And felt like I was living. Slept like a baby.

But I don't have any outside hobbies that really consume me, other than, pursuing some goal. I have not really discovered why, and have stopped wondering really. It just feels "alive".

And, completely off topic, Amsterdam has the world's best coffee, and I might know.

GaryD 

What if I was wrong on W4...what if this is W4?

Following that thought from late yesterday...

My life and my goals are the same? That thought is running through my mind this morning, brought up from last night's conversation. My pursuit of a goal becomes the dominating factor in my feeling of identity?

If that is true, and not trying to change it but understand it, where is the synergy when it comes to trading? Does that integration cause conflicts in trading, and if so, what?

I am roughly 2 months from going to full time trading, and while I would have thought the goal was to make an income, is the goal really just the pursuit of identity? Or does the identity stand alone, only desiring to have a pursuit?