Wednesday June 16th

MES

Just jiggleing around before FOMC speech and now in hindsight, there would have been a runaway spike to trade, which I kinda thought could happen after the news volatility. But I had already deemed it not tradeable for the remainder of the day because it appeared to be just too uncontrolled for too long after the speech.


Prom Queens

Nothing

Thursday June 17th

Approaching a new fuckin low point. My family is an immense problem! All I hear from morning till night are their fuckin voices in my head just waiting until I fail again! Made my pretty conservative plan of how I want to go on with sizing up and when I'm likely to get into the safe zone and don't spend more money than I make in a month. The more I progress, the louder their voices get, the more my heart starts to race and the more desperate I feel when I lose. I've minimized contact drastically in the last weeks, but their negativity is haunting me more than ever before!
The market starts to move again and I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing! I just can't get a clear thought. I'm feeling like a guilty piece of shit, just because I don't want to work in a job I hate for my entire life for money that's too little to live and too much to die!

MES

Trade #109

That trade was alright


Big pic




Loss: -4.00P / -16 Ticks


Trade #110

I should have already been in this trade for a long time. This was one of my "coming from below" situations, but I didn't enter because I kinda semi-consciously just haven't done it, because I "thought this maybe could be a loss". Then I entered into the spike and, of course, with that late entry it turned into a loss.


Big pic




Loss: -3.25P / -13 Ticks



Trade #111

To a degree the missed, coming from below situation I've tried to trade here, but also from what I define as a trend not entirely wrong!


Big pic




Loss: -4.50P / -18 Ticks


Prom Queens

Exit Trade #10


60 min



10 min


Moved stop twice
Win: +1.3R

Now only 1 queen still remaining.




Such a shitty day today....... The pressure is fuckin wrecking me......

Friday June 18th

MES

Trade #112


Big pic




Loss: -3.00P / -12 Ticks

Gotta rethink my method. That's just not how I want my trading to be. Shitty weeks will always occur, but the way the losses and winners are distributed is not sustainable for me. I need a slightly better winrate and more even distributed r/r's.
The major thought is, trying to somehow implement the Taylor Trading Technique for the approximate place where and in which direction to enter and handle the exit maybe with a trailing stop, similar to how I've done until now.


Prom Queens

Exit Trade #5

Finally also the last dance is over! Took exactly 1 month and this lady knew how to seduce one with her charms.


60 min


10 min



10 min


Moved stop 6 times
Win: +5.67R

All in all the experiment ended in the green. Will post the numbers on the weekend.

Prom Queens bottom line

Entered the first trade on May 17th and closed the last trade on June 18th.

# of trades: 13
Losses: 8
Winners: 5
Lost R's: 8.9
Won R's: 12.1
Endresult: +3.2R

Winrate: 38%
Gave back from the wins with the losses: 74%

Even though the sample size is pretty small, I do think that these results are not so far off, of what could be expected over the long run.

For every $20 I have risked I needed on average about $700 BP. There are enough stocks out there that would fit the entry criteria, so that wouldn't be a problem. In theory it is possible to build a portfolio just on that and basically rotate the entire BP all the time. Either re-enter after being stopped out or enter a different stock.
The huge problem I have with that is, that leverage is necessary to get a money-amount out of that, which is "meaningful" with a small account. And I couldn't sleep anymore knowing that I'm with money in the market which isn't mine and a 9/11 type of event could wipe me out.
(Just for explanation if somebody shouldn't know: The leverage of course is spread between a lot of stocks, but in a severe panic, I expect them to correlate and it would be like "being in just one stock with excessive risk")


It would be possible, also including short trades, which maybe could reduce damage in such an event, but that would have to be figured out.
I'm sure there must be also ways how to calculate position size to short in the Futures, but where to get the margin if already leveraged in the market?!

So without an intense study of black swan type of events and a frickin' bullet-proof plan on what to do when shit hits the fan, there's no possibility I could trade this way.

What I realize more and more is, that it is basically all the same anyways. It's more a question of "Which type of risk I prefer over the other" and "Which type of psychological difficulties I want to deal with".

Monday June 21st

Today it finally happened....
Too much pressure, completely immobilized and unclear plan. I missed the trades I MUST have taken!
11 losses in 12 trades over a two-weeks period is too much to handle for me. Lost trust in my method and can't trade it anymore.
It's the same old song like before: Made gains with 3 contracts, fewer gains with 4 contracts and lost it all with 5 contracts. According to my plan I should have traded the trend today with 6 contracts, but it wasn't possible.
Worked on a plan on how to trade Taylor on the weekend and wanted to start today "on the side with that and take a trade with my old method if a "perfect" chance occurs with 3 contracts".
Even planned to watch Penny stocks on the side, because I stumbled upon old and "easy-looking" charts...
In the end I did nothing...

Being it a self-sabotaging beginner mistake or not, but I abandon my method. I need a method with at least 50% winrate, which also includes shorting.



So sitting on a bunch of 5 contract-losses, I'll start to try to trade Taylor from the bottom again with 1 contract and hopefully that will work out better.
I have to get my shit back together and regain my cool.


1000 Tr




1000 Tr




6000 Tr



Today we had a Selling Day, but since the Buying Day objective was made LAST on Friday, I expected a Buy-Day-Low violation today and looked to be a buyer. Especially the sharp reversal caught me by surprise.
We violated yesterday's low for 14.25 points, which I think is a bit below average for a violation, but as it was back up at around its open price, I think it could be expected that the Day-Low was set in now and I should have bought risking the low.
Profit target would have been around the Buy-Day-High, which it reached, but would have been very difficult to hold that long.

Tomorrow's a Short-Sale-Day. Since we close strong, I expect the objective to be made FIRST and try to short as soon as I see it turning south in the area of today's High.

Tuesday June 22nd

TTT-Trade #1

Short-Sale-Day

Shorted into the crackdown of the last significant appearing support-level, risking the day-high.
The major daily trend turned out to be upward, so I simply bet on the wrong side. So far I sonsider that a legit, unavoidable loss.

Loss


1000 Tr


6000 Tr



Tomorrow
is a Buying-Day. But since we close strong today and today's objective was made LAST, I'll aim for a Short-Sale on the high made FIRST tomorrow.
Will try to do it in a similar fashion like today and expecting a decline to around today's lows.

Wednesday June 23rd

TTT-Trade #2

Buying-Day (But in this case a short on a Buying-day high made first)

Same idea as yesterday. Shorted the breakdown of the last significant low. Interesting is, that the day looked pretty much the same as yesterday with the double-bottom. So speaking from my own romo-hindsight-trading, if I had missed the rally yesterday, I would have hoped for the same rally today, which made me think it's unlikely that it will actually occur.
Tightened it down with my stop approaching the close.


Loss(partial)


1000 Tr


6000 Tr


Tomorrow
is a Selling-Day. Since we basically not trended today and close somewhere in the middle the situation is not very clear. If we approach today's lows and then start back upwards, I'll likely treat that as a Buying-Day-Low-Violation and look to buy. Otherwise no trade.

Thursday June 24th

No trade today. We trended upwards, but didn't really violated the B-Day-Low.
But since we are going strong into the close, that's ideal for a short tomorrow on Short-Sale-Day

Friday June 25th

Short-Sale-Day today and again no trade. Monday could be a Short on a Buying Day High made first.

This week was more of a disoriented guesswork type of trading, but I'll try to get back on the road with fresh power next week!

Monday June 28th

No trade today.
Trying to come up with a systematic, rigid way of trading Taylor, but lately I feel more like going backwards and confusion is growing again.
I feel like there are still wrong assumptions somewhere in my head that hold me back and block my sight.

Generally the strangest time of my life right now. Trading took me to places in my mind, I would have never imagined even existed!
If you're going through hell, keep going!