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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris created the Internet to instantaneously send pictures of himself to people he was about to kill. No one has ever had time to open one of these emails.
Chuck Norris once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!
Chuck Norris built Rome in a day.
Gravity only exists because Chuck Norris allows it to.
Chuck Norris once gave Vin Diesel and friendly noogie. Vin's hair never grew back.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for supreme martial arts skills; after obtaining his awesome karate powers he proceeded to round house kick the devil in his face for his soul back. The devil, a fan of irony, now plays poker with Chuck on Wednesdays.
Lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice because it knows Chuck Norris is looking for it.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his own hands.
Chuck Norris once visited the US Virgin Islands. Now they are just called the US Islands.