After a frustrating day today of having a plan going into the morning only to see myself break it during the day, I've decided to write my first public trading journal. That last sentence might make it sound as if I'm a newbie to this game, but it's actually been over 18 years that I've been working at this. It seems that over the years I've proven to have the persistence to never give up, but other than that I don't have much to show for my efforts. I took my first account in 1998 from 30k to 250k, trading penny stocks in the dot com boom, only to lose it all in 2000. From 2000 through 2016, I only had 1 winning year which was 2008. Let's just say my capital loss carry-forward could buy me a nice house, even here in Southern Cali. :doh:
Here are just a couple things that I know have held me back from becoming a profitable trader over the years:
- The constant debate in my head over whether my trading should be mechanical or discretionary. A science or an art? My current solution is to have strict criteria for entry, but allow a tiny bit of discretion to come into my exits.
- Needing to truly think in terms of probability and sample size. I've always kept track of my expectancy and known what my edge was, but simply couldn't follow through with live trading the same system over a large enough sample without either breaking my money management rules or etc, etc. This journal will hopefully help me to stick with the plan.
- FOMO. Give me the option of choosing one superpower, and it would probably be the ability to overcome FOMO.
- Being completely solitary in my trading. I don't use social media, I don't have any friends that trade, and I never talk to other traders. THIS IS WHY I'M WRITING THIS JOURNAL. I am extremely out of my comfort zone by doing this, but I know that positive changes don't come from being comfortable. I am hoping that this journal will help me to feel accountable to others, and therefore help me in my discipline.
PS- Why do I call this journal my "last chance"? We just found out this month that my wife is pregnant, and I know that I can't go on forever with my current work schedule of trading mornings and my salary job into the night. After 18 years, I either make this work, or I don't. This is it.