Why can't I let a trade be?

Why do I let fear move my target and stop - trying to bracket a profit.

Reason is I have not yet done enough homework like @PandaWarrior and @josh who spend lot of time in preparation - I hope to be a disciple of these two greats!

Ultimately belief is the winner - getting to a place where your belief system aligns with market state and you flow.... that is the ultimate goal.

I resolve to let the next trade be.

Once I have waited
Once I have reasons to pull the trigger
Once I have identified the risk being in tolerable limits
Once I have probability on my side

I WILL ENTER WITH AN auto oco order AND JUST LET THE TRADE BE.

I WILL NOT MOVE MY 10-tick STOP OR 20-tick TARGET.

That is a promise.

Let's see how it goes.


If I honor my promise I would be well on my way to add value to myself and the world around me, so be my guest on this journal if I do!

If I dishonor this promise, you, dear reader, can really choose not to visit this journal again.

I have four enemies.

Impatience.
Fear.
Self-doubt.
Greed.

When I lower my vigil they slink up behind me and try to possess me.

When I have my visor on, when my magnetic force field is activated I can spot them on my radar and give them a mighty whack.

So I choose to trade only when my shield is ON.

But they entice me from the outside and sometimes I let them in. Sometimes. Those are the times I need to monitor...

That is why INTEGRITY is such an important concept in trading... a foundational stone, if you like.

Else, a great trader can build a Great Wall of China and all it would take is a single bribed General in Ming's army to let the hordes in...

In trading you are as smart as your dumbest mistake.

Shows up in my ZC and 6J statistics.

As much as I try not to, I am leaning towards'repairing' the statistics than trading well.

The defensive trades are showing up as small consistent winners which cannot replenish the large down days I created during the 'infancy' of the combine especially in the 6J.

Winning a combine can quickly have geometric complexity repercussions, as with all trading - unlike a coin toss experiment, each stupid move against you gets you further down Impossible Lane.

I have confidence in my trades... in my analysis of the market.... BUT I DON'T TAKE THE TRADE. I can SEE the market hit my targets on trades I am not in.... I suppose this is nothing new to fellow traders, but here I am at this stage of the journey, looping looping looping in the same vicious cycle.

Now that is an oxymoron, but that is how it is currently and I must record it in my journal.


Examples:



To be fair this short was missed when I was not at my desk, so next example....



Need to do 'the Work' more....

This was the day (day number seven) that the playing field was laid for the real combine battle:

iqgod 

This is how it goes (Day number twelve), plodding to meet statistics (a humbling, cherish able, accelerated learning experience - all at the same time!!):




The problem: Avoiding eating like an bird and dumping like an elephant.

Having a profitable strategy is no consolation!

If I enter too early, where is the strategy?

And I did for corn today!


If I exit when I see teeny profit instead of holding till target, where is the strategy?

And I did that for corn today!


If I enter too early, hold till profit shows up.... and even though now the price action is screaming "WAAAIT, I am going to your target SOOOON" - I sell.

That is akin to weeding out your pretty plants as soon as they sprout buds - instead of letting them flower I nip them buds and all!

Three lessons for me today!

I took 9 trades today (against my limit of 5 in the rulebook).

All 9 were winners (no hurrah).

The problem here is that I am
- right on direction
- wait patiently for entry
- use a good trade location (risk defined well in advance)
- enter only when flowing with the tape

B U T....

once in profit I
- trail my stop very closely
- am afraid of MAE to such an extent that I DO NOT allow a trade BEHAVING PRICE ACTION-WISE TO THE BOOK to go against me even one tick (though it is expected and normal, however I am beset by uncertainty and trail close or close out the position).

This is simply an addiction to WINNING.

It is not healthy trading - setting a stop and target and letting them be.

The irony of course is that if I had allowed my stops and targets to be 2 out of 9 trades would still have been winners (due to patiently waiting for only A+ setups) and even though I cannot know in advance which ones will winners it is so obvious that the seven 20-tick winners will compensate for the two 10-tick losers.

I KNOW.

I SENSE.

B U T

I CAN'T EXECUTE.

In trading you are your own worst enemy.

And due to the geometric outcome model of trading the digging into a hole becomes worse and worse.

This combine will not be a winner if I do not give up my addiction to winning.

Period.


Postscript: I know what all things are wrong with my thinking - its like someone needs to handcuff me after I pull the trigger. I don't know HOW to get into a yoda state or 'the zone'.

Perhaps its much simpler than I am thinking.

Let's see if I am able to pull it off.

(Won't happen out of a hat. Or perhaps it will happen at the drop of a hat. Perhaps the click moment is near.)

So I've come a full circle....

My equity at the end of Day 13 stands at $30,000 after having suffered a drawdown of $765.

I've managed risk properly, I've learnt SO MUCH (about myself, more than about markets!)



So as I start all over again its time to reflect on how I'll act to fulfill the solemn promise I made to my readers today.... letting my trades be; not messing with my target and stop once I'm in.

Here is the day summarized in a single picture:





Its time to redeem myself!