today I start again

I promise myself not to do that again
"please forgive me", I said to myself
it's not fun at all

after losses I try to backtesting my strategy
but it's not working
it make me nervous and felt hopeless
more thinking happen during real time trading decision
backtesting required rigid rules to take trade
but my trading decision not that rigid
maybe it need more observation
real time trading can provide those observation
but backtesting can't really provide me that kind of environment

it's feel hopeless when backtesting
now feel better when I step in real time trading
happy when the market back opening

still don't why
sometimes setup ends well
sometimes setup ends bad

lead me focus on NQ only

sometimes I do really learn to trade less
trade less and make money and keep it

Been where you are. What finally helped me was the opposite of what feels natural: write the setup down before the trade (where, why, where the stop goes), then grade it only after 20 of them, not after each one. One trade tells you nothing about a setup, good or bad. That's why the same setup sometimes ends well and sometimes badly. It's normal even for a setup that works.

Second thing, check your stop against the noise. If the stop is smaller than one normal 5 min bar at that time of day, the market takes it out even when you're right. On ES the bars right after the open run almost twice the size of the afternoon ones, so a stop that works at 1pm gets run over at 9:45.

Trading less is a good instinct. Keep at it.