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So I thought some more about this and it turns out I do have an edge and its just emotions. The moment of truth tests me and I will make sure I pass its test in that moment not pseudo-pass it post-facto.
Also the inverse R:R isn't a truism in my method - it usually is a 4 tick stop with a 9 tick gain. It is the creeping feeling that something inside me might be willing to move the stop just so that I could get a winner in the current trade. So the real thing is wanting to be right.
That is what I get up against and need to work on it.
I've tried to be stern with this early exit thingy and just HOLD till target, but it has helped me intuitively exit a bad trade more often than not.
The deeper issue is also FOMO - I take a trade when there is not setup, or a mediocre setup and then this intuitive exit kicks in. The last few times the early exit thing happened it was a great setup, but was loss-aversion. Here are some amazing posts that would have gone with the wind had it not been inked here:
So this trade eventually did NOT reach its 10-tick target but it would've hit the stop:
He talks about the importance of visualizing your desired outcome: I have already prepared for my funded trader interview. (I am also superstitiously knocking wood as I write this, to remind myself that humility is at the very base of all virtues.)
“It’s no work. There’s no work involved. Because It’s all a joy.
Cause you know you’re reaching your goal.””
- Steve Vai
"The level of achievement we have in anything, is a reflection of how well we were able to focus on it. Because the only thing that's holding you back, is the way you're thinking."
- Steve Vai "How to be Successful" Private Sessions Guitar Center
From determining what you want to do, to crystallizing a vision of yourself as a trader, to proactively practicing...
“Whenever you get discouraged, go to the big picture. GO back to that place of excitement. That’s how you get through it. You go the big picture. You go to the chief aim. Because it’s so crystallized in your head, that when you know, that you feel that ‘I can’t do this’.. You go back to that picture and you can see yourself doing it.”
- Steve Vai
If anyone has any doubts why he should start a trading journal here is something for you:
A successful trader has told me that "the market gives very poor feedback." In other words you can do the right thing and lose, and you can do the wrong thing and win. So it's important to keep track, over time, of what you did and what the results were. It's only after a string, or series, of trades that the true effectiveness of a particular setup can be determined.
Some of my favorite series of posts are the ones where traders shared their "daily grind". I guess there are some limitations to making it public, but it probably wouldn't be much different than if you had to explain your actions to a trading mentor or prop-shop boss. You need to have a bit of a thick skin to put up stuff that makes you look stupid, but it can also be worth it. Just doing this you already start finding recurring things both in the market and with yourself.
I was stunned by one of his recent posts, for its complete honesty and also because it resonated with my current state (reproducing a snippet of it):
I haven’t written in a long while. No daily practice, no ten minutes a day. No true sentence. Why? Because I’m afraid. Afraid of going in deep, of digging out the truths, of what it takes to write that true thing again and again and again.
What I forgot was the result. The gift you return with. The diamond clutched in your sweaty hand. Your face covered with soot. Emerging from the cave. The glint in your eye. The knowing within.
The gift that transforms you and then, when you share it, those around you.
Instead, I hid. Hid with excuses. My life is going great, why screw with it? The first two books were enough, look at what they’ve done. I’m just a guy trying to figure his shit out, what do I know? Look at all that I’ve learned, why not just stick with practicing it and be satisfied?
Excuses.
The truth is that I’m no longer the person who wrote those books. I’m better. Much better. Because I wrote those books. Because I shared what I learned.
There’s a deeper truth: better is not good enough.
For the longest time I thought that as long as I didn’t slide back to the depth of where I’d been, that was success. Ah, monkey mind, you are clever.
The truth is that the experience of going within and sharing our gifts, they transform us. We can never go back to where we once were. We may slide, sure, but the person sliding is not the person who’d been down there before.
So the question to myself is: who am I now? And start from here, from this point. Dive in and find the new gifts. And be better from here.
I particularly liked the chart where you had said that you once again made the emotional mistake of jumping out too early in a winning trade, but it turned out that you got out just in time. It shows that these "feelings" we can get are not necessarily wrong.
When you're driving your car, or doing anything else you know how to do, you don't have to be thinking all the time about what to do -- you can act appropriately because you do know what to do; you don't have to reason it out every time you approach a situation, like you did when you were first learning.
There is a difference between that and just getting scared and pulling the plug too early. (And if you do pull it too early, who cares?)
I keep knocking on wood whenever I say things like "I am successful, and will be forever successful."
I remember Linda Bradford Raschke talking about how traders consider it a bad omen to talk about their successes, perhaps its a Chicago thing!
Since journals are about honesty, here is what I JUST did after making that breezy statement - I traded unmindfully (personal account), ANTICIPATED (imaginged!) a setup, did not place a stop (the usual stop would have been placed very close), placed a target and took a godawful loss:
Punishments? Not visiting BigMikeTrading.com for the rest of the month. (that's a tough one)
I was making steady progress and WHAM. Today was a SUDDEN, no wait....
I had planned NOT to trade today; I had sensed my nemesis and unmindfulness and hence was not going to trade today (just like I had not traded yesterday), however I violated this myself.
How did I sense my unmindfulness?
1. By my driving style - driving in India is akin to trading your strategy - whenever I drive gung-ho and the like, it is KATY BAR THE DOOR day for me in the markets.
2. Whenever I feel what I am doing is not worth it - sabotage seems a given on such days!
These are issues I am still working with, so patiently need to address them, from square one, if need be.
Out of curiosity, why have you taken this punishment approach recently? (I think I recall you mentioning it a couple times)
Some things for you to think about:
- In times gone by the general approach to children was to smack them and scold them when they did anything wrong. Times have changed today. Most people understand now that to get the most out of their kids they need to motivate them and reward them. Get them excited about achievement.
- In times gone by people use to train dogs by hitting them whenever they didn't do a task correctly. Times have changed. Today people know that to train dogs you need to reward them every time they do something right and offer constant positive feedback. The dog gets excited about doing the tasks correctly.
- In times gone by in the corporate world management would dictate what needs to be done and yell at anyone stepping out of line. Times have changed. Today management and staff work as a team towards a common goal. Staff are made to feel important and part of the process.
The examples could carry on....
What is the single theme here? Punishment is a poor motivator. Punishment is a poor creator of excellence.
You might want to consider doing a complete 180 on how you view punishment vs reward and the results they produce.
Was about to post something similar to DarkPoolTrading.
Iqgod, you've talked a lot about psychology and attitudes in trading, about mindfulness and loving yourself. But I think those ideas work if you are serious enough about what you do. If you wanted to perform well, to do your best (different to making money, showing positive results), you wouldn't be experiencing half of your problems.
I want you to succeed, but you need to get serious. It's too easy to do something stupid and then be mindful about the reasons why it happened. And punishments won't help. Maybe you just need to lose more time and money. Hopefully not.
I can tell you the exact moment that caused it because it helped me when I saw it happen. It was when you felt compelled to tell IndexTrader that you were doing really well when he asked.
Love and punishment and reward are interesting issues but reality always wins.
Stay cool and look after yourself, the trading will come if it's meant to.