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So sorry to hear about what happened to your family. It must have been tragic and I think there are no words that anyone could provide that would even hope to have some semblance of comfort.
I am not going to comment on the feat you are trying to achieve, but if you have specific trading questions I am sure that the very advanced and more long-standing members of the forum can step up and provide constructive support.
A friend gave me € 2.000, but I think I will give it back. Until now I have only lost my own money. To use boworred money for trading is a dangerous path to go, I think. Only thing is, that I bought a Topstep. I am trading the same lot size in Topstep and in my live account. In Topstep I am up approx. $ 2.600 and in my live account, after deduction of commissions etc. and data feed cost approx. $ 700. It is obvious that I am trading in a different way. I am aware that the acccount size of my real account is (almost) insane. That is way I have to be very selective with my trades. If you have a bigger account, you could go for trades which have a lower propabilty but higher potential for gained ticks. In absolute terms this is adding to your profits. But with my account size there really is no place for errors...and you need a lot of luck, too. If you are in the wrong market phase, regarding your system, it simply would destroy your account. The good thing is, after I spend 1000s of hours studing the markets, I know when I have good chances. That does not mean that I am good at forecasting. It does only mean that I know circumstances that perhaps could lead to situations....and that is a lot more then most other people seem to know. I do not want to offend somebody, but you need to recognize situations which more or less repeat themselfs. Other persons would say "you need an edge". True. If you could not describe the content of your edge, then I am pretty sure you don´t have one. So please stay tuned in. I am doing this journal for my own motivational purpose. I sucked and this is the last chance I have. I know my account is to small and I am doomed, but if you have anything other to contribute - feel free!
...so I took the beating ...had stepped some days back thinking about everything...I finally told my wife and think it takes only a few days, then I could walk upright again
Should have talked with her earlier.
I also calculated that I lost since beginning of 2017 approx. $ 140.000. Good thing - less than expected. Nevertheless quite an expensive lesson.
Regarding Topstep: I am not sure if we become friends. On several occassions now it was not responsing and then 10sec - 2 min later I suddenly had more contracts open than intended.
LMAX I also tested. In contrast to other CFD-shops they work with a central limit orderbook.
But it turned out to have two main disadvantages from my perspective:
1. commissions for the small contracts, which would be appropriate for a small account, are to high.
2. overall the chance that your limit order gets hit is (a lot) worse than with futures. Then you have to use market orders ,pay the higher than with futures trading spread, and this singnigicantly is adding up.
My wife - good one! - approved a little bit more risk capital. The new challenge is to make something out of approx. $ 4.400. I think it is possible because now I do not have to hide anthing and do not have urgently to gain something back. Psychological this is a game changer for me. If I am down to $2.000 I have to start cleaning toilettes or something like that. Now we get serious! Folks, keep your fingers crossed.
What contracts are you trading and how much are the commissions?
What do you mean the chances of limit order getting hit are worse? Spreads with lmax seem pretty good to me. For instance gold with most brokers averages 50 but lmax fluctuates between 10-20 sometimes lower. On an instrument that can easily move +1000 ticks in a day that spread is nothing.
Of course if you attempting to scalp forex market then you will get your ass handed to you in commissions and spread. That's where futures are probably better.
Trading: ES+MES+TechStocks as of 2022 Previous: ES GC CL [4MES2ES as of 2019MAY] and [4MGC2GC as of 2021JAN]
Posts: 454 since Jul 2014
Thanks Given: 281
Thanks Received: 389
@asyx
I thought of you when I watch this old webinar again. TopstepTrader Intervention featuring FuturesTrader71, published 12-04-2015
TopstepTrader, the leader in funding traders, and FT71 have teamed up to bring you never before heard, insightful analysis of one Combine trader’s performance. Using the S5 NinjaTrader Trade Analyzer.
FT71 dove into the trade data and metrics of Viraj84, as he continues to be evaluated on his path to a Funded Account with TopstepTrader.
IMHO.. Need to focus on what PRODUCT to trade, what TIME to trade, and how often to trade. Learn risk management and get rid of bad trading habits. Most of all, give yourself time!
Regarding my trading activity, Thursday is ranked number 2.
On this day I trade a lot more than rank 5-3.
Overall I am profitable on this day but result vs. effort is quite bad.
I try to do better today.
I got the Equity open right. Then my platform crashed.
Now I see this big move up...LOL
I get the feeling of missing out at the moment.
In the past this was not a good base for decision making.
Hmmm... Better I shut down my workstation and play with the kids outsite.
@asyx , I've read your last few posts. I'm sorry to hear about the accident that claimed your young child and nearly took your wife. I urge you to return the money that you borrowed from your friend. Trading is not a solution to life's problems. It is financial bloodsport. One of the big reasons so many people fail at this game is because of the myriad psychological demons they have gnawing at them in the background of their lives. Family problems, gambling addiction, alcoholism, and other addictions etc. It would be terrible to lose a friend, wife, or other relationship because of trading. It's not worth it to make a little money. The only chance you have to win is to approach the markets every single day with and absolutely clear head knowing that you are risking capital you can afford to lose. Not caring if you lose in a way.
People often say it is a lot easier to find a job when you already have one. Trading is very similar. You can only succeed once you have certain aspects of your life squared away. Not the other way around. Some here will give encouragement to you and say "Yeah! Go get em! You can do it!" That is fine and good but I recommend taking a step back for a moment and perhaps taking a break until you can approach this as a better funded, clearer headed trader.
I know what you mean about not being happy. Think of the 9-5 as your investor. Use that income to invest in yourself. It doesn't mean you need to like it, but know that is what is going to get you to where you want to be until you are trading like a pro. When you are hating your life at work, just remember, there are people that would kill to switch places with you, literally, and there are others that dream to be in your role at work.