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feeling pretty shitty and embarrassed as I told myself, I would be very aggressive today in order to show that it could be doable to trade with a small account. However, I reached my max. loss limit on this account and the challenge is over for me. Pretty annoyed at myself that I only faded and had short, too many trades % increased size, continued to trade after I hit $-300 and now I'm looking at $-970!!
My last session:
Anyways, will be posting all my trades and daily recap later, just need to take a break now to regroup and think about how I will continue posting and so on.
By the way, if you liked what I posted so far in July then please give me a thanks on this post here:
I know about broken discipline, not stopping when one should or even how a simple losing trade can sometimes affect the rest of the day.
As much as I'd like to think that these demons are always under control, I can occasionally slip up on them, which acts as reinforcement and reminder for me to continually be vigilant.
@mastadee - A valiant effort nevertheless - I hope you win!
No embarrassment needed, you have been completely honest and open with the challenge, it has been good to follow. You have simply proved that to run a small account needs cast-iron discipline, not aggression.
My questions might have been answered, if yes just please direct me accordingly.
Do you find the smaller account to trade much more challenging? If yes, why?
Are you consistently profitable on your other account?
I'm just asking because on your cumulative pnl chart it looks like as soon as you hit a certain gain percentage you hammer down your account. I do the same sometimes and for me it is connected with a belief that I'm getting into pnl territory that I don't think/believe I deserve.
Thanks for sharing your journey!
“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” Δ
“There is no path, but only a fool wouldn’t follow it.”
I am sorry to see the end of the challenge. I have enjoyed your journal. Since you said it is "live trading account" I assume it is real money and not sim account -- so I understand how you feel. All I can say is trading is not easy and I have been on this road for a long time. I am currently on TopStep Trader FTP but I am pretty close to hitting the max loss.
I looked at the beginning posts of your journal and seemed to see your max loss was defined at $1000 and goal $1000 profit. Am I right? Since you trade CL, I would think $1000 loss is quite small so don't be so hard on yourself. On the other hand, this amazes myself from time to time with my own trades as well --- that the market can make $900 from you (today) by just taking your small losses. If we flip, why can't we make $900 from the market by taking small profits from the market? Something to think about.
Don't worry about it and certainly no reason to feel embarrassed - we all know how trading is and have been there. I know it's hard to post a big loss but kudos for making the post. Posting in public is a brutal process, IMO.
I think the reason you pushed is just as you said:
"as I told myself, I would be very aggressive today in order to show that it could be doable to trade with a small account."
It's the same reason I blew up yesterday trying to push to hard at the end.
You're out in front in the vote count - so should you win I hope you'll post your combine each day - but no pressure. :-)
Well, in total I had 10 trades today and here is the screenshot:
Here is the excel with all my trades:
Ok the first trade was just stopped out and Ok. But then I shorted again and tried to hold for at least 10+ ticks which was obviously a mistake as I was still going against the trend but I really wanted to see even 49 where my profit target was. Then it went back up and stopped out after a small unrealized profit.
Then again on my 3rd trade, I entered 2 lots as I wanted to finally make a profit but took 1 lot off after it went against me but found some resistance near the HOD. However, I knew when I would get stopped out, then I would reach my daily risk limit, hence I took 1 lot off near my entry, then it went 7T onside but again I didn't want to book profit and also didn't move my stop to BE...then I put my 2nd lot on again and it then came lower and was like 4T onside couldn't go lower so I took it off again and then the last lot was stopped out...
Then the mess started as I felt annoyed at myself that I didn't book the small profits as it was a nice up-trend and when countertrending I need to book these small profits...
Then I pretty much just got stopped out at all my next trades and broke all my limits...
Obviously, my worst day this month in this account as I didn't apply to my rules and didn't wait for proper set-ups and just jumped the gun way too many times....feels pretty stupid as I know I can do way better...