Quick One Liners

Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Next time you wave, use all your fingers.

The only perfect science is hindsight.

He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.

A procrastinator's work is never done.

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.

A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.

AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.

If puns were outlawed, only outlaws would have puns.

I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.

Lol mythical creature I would've gone for caring lawyer or if I was feeling self loathing a generous banker but spot on. V funny mate.