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hi, it's simple, you're not a trader, you're a gambler !
You need to accept yourself as the person you are, that's all !
You have to accept yourself as a gambler !
A gambler is a fatalist, someone who knows he can win big or loose it all
but who juste doésn't care, as anyway it's a zero-sum game,
so if you blew up you're account you made someone else happy !
Isn't this reason enough to be happy yourself ?
Regarding my own financial situation and my "emotional capital" (not about money), losing $200 a day and even $1,000 a week is not a big deal, even if no one likes to lose anything. Losing $2,500 a day becomes (at least now) not fun at all. So when the emotional toll of losing becomes unpleasant to hard and then unbearable? Few years ago, the first (unpleasant) was at $100 a day, now the $1,000 is the tipping point or my "first sensory pain".
Anyway, understanding where I am and how I feel about losing, helped me a lot.
The dream for so many traders is to grow an account to the roof.
In the past, I learned everything that I could regarding money management or position sizing, even when I was still losing with an amazing consistency. 2%. Fixed fractional, Optimal F, etc.
My goal was to be able to make it and finally become a pro who can live from his passion. The emotional toll was so huge when I blew up my last option account few years ago, that it took me months to recover emotionally. Then, I finally understood the meaning of money for me, understanding myself and what I call my "emotional capital" and how that works with me. (Perhaps a beginning of a self analysis?)
So now, I am constantly aware of where are my sensory pains, per day, week and even month.
My "secret" is to do the opposite of what people try to achieve regarding position sizing: The larger my account is and the less risks I take: With a $10,000. account, I don't have any problem to risk 2% per trade and then 5% per day, and 12.5% a week.
For example, with a $100,000. account dedicated to my day trading, I will have a hard time to lose $5,000. a day! So, the more my account grow and the more I reduce the size of my risks. I have written in stone how I will decrease or increase my risks, regarding the size of my account and the size of my emotional capital.
I also consistently monitor my daily and weekly PF. I discovered that it is a great way for me to see when my trading will go wrong, even before it happens.
It works well for me and even if we are all different, I hope that can help you and others as well.
Best!
The first thing you need to do is to take a break from trading. A minimum of one month if not three. AFTER the break, you need to figure out something that is going to work for you. Personally I had taken a one week class with Dave Green. I had blown up my account several times, thus I am speaking from personal experience. It won't happen again. He is trading stocks mind you, however the methodology he teaches for the half a dozen setups that he uses works with most things traded. He also has a ton of good information to keep your brain in check... stop the revenge trading and let the trades come to you. You should NEVER be asking yourself after a trade, "why did I do this trade". There always has to be a reason, and the reason ALWAYS has to be a setup. Also, I recommend you reading the book "Trading In The Zone" by Mark Douglas. I'd say "good luck", but professional trading isn't about luck. Luck is for the casino's, which by blowing up your account thus far is how you would have been using the markets.
I have been there as well, blew $55k last year, having traded it up from $1000 in 5 months. I was really upset with myself after it because it only came down to one thing, me not following the rules that got me to $55k. I had to take a few days off, accept the loss because I broke my own rule, trying to figure out how do I prevent myself from breaking the rules? I know there isn't really anything that prevents me from breaking the rules, other than trying to constantly remind myself that I blew $55k. I have since been working on automating some of my trades to eliminate the biggest issue, which is me , and I'm getting back into the game, I'm not depositing more money so now my challenge is to build from $19 to $55k and beyond. This past week was good and I'm starting to close in on 3 figures, 2 weeks from now I want to be in 4 figures and then accelerate the growth.
My words of wisdom to you are to put the losses in a picture next to your screen, look at them every time you take a trade and make sure you follow your rules. When you feel like "cheating" or revenge trade, look at the statement that shows how you blew your account and that should help you remember what made you blow your account.
GREED , FEAR greed was the increase in size . fear was the bad trading habits you used out of fear of seeing your account bleeding . the same thing gets all of us at some point. just start over with a better plan.